Reality Check – Day 4

26 Jul

I weighed myself (it had been two weeks since I did) and took pictures… I am still alive, however my jaw is still on the ground (195.2 at 5ft. 8).  Pictures will be posted shortly for everyone’s viewing pleasure.  I plan to do this each Monday.

I am, without a doubt, beyond the “she’s a little chunky” phase.  I am fat and no, not the Phat kind.   This should be no surprise to me, given that my mother-in-law, made the fat cliche, dreaded comment this past week – “you have such a pretty face.” Yet, I continued to pretend that my height allowed me to carry my weight more than it did.     I think what surprised me the most is how big my butt and stomach are now.   Also, what is frustrating to me is that despite my bad weekend – that I was, for the two weeks prior, pretty good – cut down on food, diet coke, exercised, and still no progress on the scale.    I have been eating the same thing for breakfast and lunch most days (english muffin with a little peanut butter and an Activia; lunch is a salad with 3 pieces of lunchmeat ham, olive oil/vinegar, 1/4 cup threaded cheese and 1/8 cup almonds)

Something else that I need to acknowledge here is that I am breastfeeding.  And while some women seem to drop weight as quickly as Mel Gibson’s career is declining – that doesn’t seem to be the case with me.  I feel like my body is holding on to it for dear life – it does not recognize that there is at least 45 extra lbs it can use – let it go, let it go…. Also, if I read another post on how weight just falls off when you breast feed, I will vomit.    Ladies, everyone is different and losing weight easily is not a gift that I received from God.  Apparently, he made me for cold, Arctic weather where food is scarce – hence my wondrous ability to hold onto it and look my best in a large winter coat.  I mention breastfeeding because I can’t get crazy about not eating and I am also exercising.    Now, I don’t buy into the whole – you get an extra 500 calories a day from breastfeeding – however,  something would be nice.

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