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7 Sep

Progress on my weight!

New weight related double digits are like a gentle breeze on a warm day – welcome and much appreciated.  Praise the lord….I have entered the 180s.  The 180s are “home sweet home”.  Ok, so not so sweet – but comfortable like an old, ugly shoe.    The 180s have been my frenemy for the last 8-9 years.   Specifically, my body gets stuck at 185.   It loves this number and never wants to leave.  After almost a year of running, prior to my pregnancy, I didn’t get below 183.  I did see (a mirage really) 173-176 on the scale 3 years ago for 4 months when I got sick with mono and pneumonia (at the same time).  When I was better my weight rebounded to, yup, you guessed it 185.     160-170+ was my weight for the first two years of graduate school (until things got much more stressful) and the last three years in graduate school it zoomed to 185 where it has been for eternity.  115 (so not healthy) -150 is a distant memory from high school and the beginning of college. 

In sum – I have been overweight/borderline obese for nearly ten years – age 25 on…, that is a long time to be a big girl.


Weighing Yourself Everyday or Once a Week?

4 Sep


The scale is starting to scare me again.  A while back I wrote this –  full of bravado and confidence.     I wish I was there again.  I think my eating has gotten worse, while my training is improving.   At present, I am trying to get back into the healthy eating mode after visits by my parents and inlaws and the big return to work (which has caused my night time stress eating to increase).    As a result, I haven’t weighed myself for most of the week – remembering how pleasant it was not to weigh myself during my vacation.    So, this has led me to rethink the question of,  should I weigh myself every day or once a week

Lets review the arguments and facts – shall we?

  • Programs like WW discourage you from weighing yourself everyday – finding that it was discouraging to folks (weight fluctuations)
  • If you see a weight loss you may be tempted to celebrate/overeat – not see a weight loss – overeat/binge. 
  • If you have an eating disorder weighing yourself everyday is not the way to go.   Individuals tend to fixate on the numbers.
  • “…A group of doctors who studied obese and overweight adults who were trying to lose weight as well as overweight adults who were trying to prevent weight gain found that those who weighed themselves more often lost more weight and prevented more weight gain over two years than those who weighed themselves less frequently. Contrary to the advice given in many popular weight loss regimens, this study suggests that at least some people can benefit from the accountability brought on by daily weigh-ins. Potential advantages of daily weighing include recognition of slow patterns of weight gain that may not be immediately apparent and the chance to modify lifestyle habits before the total weight gain becomes extreme and difficult to control” (Source)
  • Weighing yourself everyday allows you to learn about your body – how it reacts to certain foods, weight fluctuations throughout the week/month. 
  • Weighing yourself everyday allows you to see weight loss trends and provide an early incentive to change – before the week or month is up.
  • And as my husband says (over and over), “it [your weight] is the truth…if you don’t know it you are just lying to yourself”

In the end, I still am torn – however, am leaning towards going back to weighing myself everyday.  

What do you think – should you weigh yourself everyday or every week?

Races Selected and Kiddies

14 Aug

I selected my races today – I have two 5Ks in September, a Sprint Tri the first weekend of Oct., and a 10K the last week of October.  It will be a busy Fall.  As soon as I shell out the money for registration it will all become a little more real.   Another dose of reality, just what I need. Sigh.

On the grateful front – my weight has seemed to move this week – despite it being a hard week for various and sundry reasons. However, I bought chocolate tonight.  It was not my finest grocery shopping trip.   I rationalized it with “it is mostly dark chocolate, that is good for me – right?  I’ll only have half…”. So far, so good.  Pray from my will power.  It needs your support. 

So, at my lowest points this week – my kids were hilarious.  I got an email with bad news and as I sat there, tears welling up – about to cry (work related), my 3 month old was smiling away at me from his bouncy chair and I had to laugh.  Again realizing this is really no big deal.  I have my family, my health.  

My three-year old also brings in the laughs. 

He didn’t want his toast with jelly today so he handed it to me and said, “mommy, you can have it.” 

I responded, “Honey, I am on a diet.  I don’t need it.”

His response, “It’s ok, it won’t die.”  

A nice reminder that “die” is the primary part of the word “diet…” Food for thought – or not:)

And in conclusion, to remind myself that I need to lose weight – my lovely 3 year old’s new “thing” is to squeeze me and say that I am “squishy”.  Yep, not cocky about my little weight loss this week.  It reinforces that I am also doing this for them.

Apparently going hungry works.

10 Aug

I journaled and counted calories yesterday.  And while I was mostly aware of how many calories I was consuming (notable exception being Dunkin Donuts Large Iced Coffee with Cream and Sugar is 250 calories) the error of my ways came down to addition.  Damn math.  Apparently, things add up quite quickly.  Who knew:)

Around seven o’clock I was pretty proud of myself.  I thought I had at least 200-300 calories to snack on and…. no.  I was at my limit 1800 calories (as a reminder I am breastfeeding and can’t go below this number).    So I went hungry, very hungry.  I hate this feeling.   All I kept thinking about was an Oprah show – you know, where Bob the trainer and her lament on the latest weight loss strategies and he starts to shill for his own up and coming brand.  Oprah and Bob endorse the stop eating at 8 or 7:30 plan and (this is what kept running through my head) Oprah said (I am paraphrasing)  that hungry feeling is good! It means you are starting to lose weight.     Apparently Oprah was right.  She is a higher power.  Today, I hit a new low 192.4.

Alas… It is time to put up or shut up.

9 Aug

So, my weight took a turn for the worse at the end of the week and so did my eating.  Although I don’t think I ate enough to gain the two pounds that I lost – the digits say otherwise.  This is leading me to rethink my ” no food journal” approach.  Originally, I had planned on having the same thing everyday for breakfast and lunch. Dinner would be meat and veggies. And while I still want to do this – I need to recognize that there is more variety and my snacking needs to get under control.   I need to get under control.  This also includes working out.  I managed to fit in something most days.  However, it is not enough. I need to start brick workouts (two a day – biking and running, swimming and running).  I only have 3 months until the full triathlon.    If I was a betting woman, the odds aren’t good that I am going to make it.    And the overweight man on his mountain bike who passed me (overweight woman on my coolio Giant racing bike)  would agree.   Yea, that was painful.

Looking ahead for the week:   I will..

keep a food journal, not eat processed food, stop eating at 8, limit my carbs, start some brick workouts, and no alcohol.

My weight goal is simply to see the digit 191.  It can be 191.9 and I will be a happy camper.   Ideally, I would love, love, love to see 180 something by the end of the month (please god, please god).     Maternity leave is soon up – and I will be going back to work full time.  I really wanted to be (at least) at my pre-pregnancy weight by then.  Unfortunately, it doesn’t look like that is going to happen.  Sigh.

Weighing more than your husband.

7 Aug

I weigh more than my husband.   When I was pregnant I knew this would happen – expected and was saddened by it.  However, he intensified this feeling when he decided to get serious about dieting around month 7.  So, when I was at my heaviest he was obsessing about losing weight.   Annoying is an understatement.  He would go on a trip and recount how little he ate, what great food choices he made, etc.  While I was happy he was losing (did I mention he was relatively thin – under 200lbs, 6’2 to begin with) – at the same time, my only counter was… well, I gained 4 lbs at the drs. visit and ate a great bowl of ice cream last night.    And while all of this was slightly frustrating, I chalked it up to – I am preggers and supposed to be big.  Almost three months later (post baby),  it is rather demoralizing that my husband weighs less now than my pre-pregnancy weight.  Does anyone else feel this way?

The Scale Isn’t Scary Anymore.

7 Aug

The scale has been a roller coaster this week – up down, up down…. One day was a glorious two lbs spike (up of course).   And the last two days, Richard, aka Dick, (my new name for the scale – its getting personal) has developed a sense of humor.  For example, I got on yesterday and it said 192.2.  My heart jumped for joy – wanting to have that warm fuzzy feeling again I reweighed myself again and…the weight changed to 193.2.  This morning I got on and 194.4.  Unacceptable Richard.  Tried again and again and 192.8.  Thank you very much Richard and good morning to you too.

It looks like I probably wont see my 191 goal weight number tomorrow. I remain hopeful.  This journey is opening up my eyes to how I eat and the role that exercise plays in it for me.    The truth is, I haven’t done much exercise the last two weeks.    My husband’s schedule, coupled with the baby has made it much harder.   This isn’t an excuse – but ultimately, I need to manage my time much better to be able to work out.   Also, when my 3 year old acting up, baby is crying, husband gone – I stress and eat at night.  While I haven’t gone crazy, I have snacked much more than what I wanted to and on processed food (Goldfish crackers and Chocolate chips/peanut butter).   I need to go back to my rules and stick with them – nothing after 8pm and no processed food!

The point of this post is that no longer am I living in ignorance of my weight; Waiting to weigh myself until I am pretty sure I have lost weight (only to find out I haven’t).   Because I weigh myself every morning I know that there will not be massive ups or downs – all I will see are small fluctuations down or yes, up.  The scale isn’t scary anymore.   I don’t always like what Richard is telling me – but the bite, burn, feeling of dread is, for the most part, gone.