Progress!

Progress on my weight!

New weight related double digits are like a gentle breeze on a warm day – welcome and much appreciated.  Praise the lord….I have entered the 180s.  The 180s are “home sweet home”.  Ok, so not so sweet – but comfortable like an old, ugly shoe.    The 180s have been my frenemy for the last 8-9 years.   Specifically, my body gets stuck at 185.   It loves this number and never wants to leave.  After almost a year of running, prior to my pregnancy, I didn’t get below 183.  I did see (a mirage really) 173-176 on the scale 3 years ago for 4 months when I got sick with mono and pneumonia (at the same time).  When I was better my weight rebounded to, yup, you guessed it 185.     160-170+ was my weight for the first two years of graduate school (until things got much more stressful) and the last three years in graduate school it zoomed to 185 where it has been for eternity.  115 (so not healthy) -150 is a distant memory from high school and the beginning of college. 

In sum – I have been overweight/borderline obese for nearly ten years – age 25 on…..wow, that is a long time to be a big girl.

Alas… It is time to put up or shut up.

So, my weight took a turn for the worse at the end of the week and so did my eating.  Although I don’t think I ate enough to gain the two pounds that I lost – the digits say otherwise.  This is leading me to rethink my ” no food journal” approach.  Originally, I had planned on having the same thing everyday for breakfast and lunch. Dinner would be meat and veggies. And while I still want to do this – I need to recognize that there is more variety and my snacking needs to get under control.   I need to get under control.  This also includes working out.  I managed to fit in something most days.  However, it is not enough. I need to start brick workouts (two a day – biking and running, swimming and running).  I only have 3 months until the full triathlon.    If I was a betting woman, the odds aren’t good that I am going to make it.    And the overweight man on his mountain bike who passed me (overweight woman on my coolio Giant racing bike)  would agree.   Yea, that was painful.

Looking ahead for the week:   I will..

keep a food journal, not eat processed food, stop eating at 8, limit my carbs, start some brick workouts, and no alcohol.

My weight goal is simply to see the digit 191.  It can be 191.9 and I will be a happy camper.   Ideally, I would love, love, love to see 180 something by the end of the month (please god, please god).     Maternity leave is soon up – and I will be going back to work full time.  I really wanted to be (at least) at my pre-pregnancy weight by then.  Unfortunately, it doesn’t look like that is going to happen.  Sigh.

The Scale Isn’t Scary Anymore.

The scale has been a roller coaster this week – up down, up down…. One day was a glorious two lbs spike (up of course).   And the last two days, Richard, aka Dick, (my new name for the scale – its getting personal) has developed a sense of humor.  For example, I got on yesterday and it said 192.2.  My heart jumped for joy – wanting to have that warm fuzzy feeling again I reweighed myself again and…the weight changed to 193.2.  This morning I got on and 194.4.  Unacceptable Richard.  Tried again and again and 192.8.  Thank you very much Richard and good morning to you too.

It looks like I probably wont see my 191 goal weight number tomorrow. I remain hopeful.  This journey is opening up my eyes to how I eat and the role that exercise plays in it for me.    The truth is, I haven’t done much exercise the last two weeks.    My husband’s schedule, coupled with the baby has made it much harder.   This isn’t an excuse – but ultimately, I need to manage my time much better to be able to work out.   Also, when my 3 year old acting up, baby is crying, husband gone – I stress and eat at night.  While I haven’t gone crazy, I have snacked much more than what I wanted to and on processed food (Goldfish crackers and Chocolate chips/peanut butter).   I need to go back to my rules and stick with them – nothing after 8pm and no processed food!

The point of this post is that no longer am I living in ignorance of my weight; Waiting to weigh myself until I am pretty sure I have lost weight (only to find out I haven’t).   Because I weigh myself every morning I know that there will not be massive ups or downs – all I will see are small fluctuations down or yes, up.  The scale isn’t scary anymore.   I don’t always like what Richard is telling me – but the bite, burn, feeling of dread is, for the most part, gone.

Dealing with My Bagel Love

I adore, no lust for bagels – specifically bagels that are lightly toasted with copious amounts of butter on them.  So Yummy.  My bagel love grew after I moved to the New York Metro area – the home of great bagels.  No more Lenders Bagels for me, just give me authentic goodness!   Unfortunately,  bagels and dieting don’t make a good couple.    Yet, I know that for me to continue “dieting” – I need to be realistic.  I can’t restrict things I love.  So, my compromise is to order the mini-bagel!

Mini -Bagel - Less calories and still full of buttery, bready pleasure

Yes, it has butter.  I am not a saint.  And what is the best bagel pairing – iced coffee of course.  And yes there is milk and sugar in it.  Like I said, I am not a saint.

Ahh, bagels……

Other good news of the morning – I saw a NEW number of the scale.  My weight was 192.8.  Progress.